Wait!! Let me explain…!!

So I realized that it’s been more than a year since I posted. Has it really been that long? Anyway, in my last post I spoke about being torn between two very different men. So ready for the good news…Drum roll please…both men are no longer in the picture. At least not in a romantic type of way. The good guy got engaged and married. Of course he would, he was the good guy lol. The good ones are always ready to settle down when You aren’t lol.  No hard feelings or jealousy because I knew he was ready to be married and although he is good man, he is not the one that God has for me. I also learned a couple of things about him from two of his close friends that helped me realized I possibly dodged a bullet…just saying. And so for the bad guy, well he is still single and “having fun”. He is actually someone that I still enjoy hanging out with and talking to. I’ve realized that in order for he and I to remain in each others lives, I had to view him as just a friend and not put these boyfriend expectations on him. Because he failed every time! He is someone that I can really talk to and just be myself with. Surprisingly he seems to give really good relationship advice. Smh…isn’t that Ironic.

When you learn to except people for who they really are, you are no longer living in a fantasy world. You are dealing with the reality of what the situation really is. For me, when I spoke in the previous blog about playing myself, I meant I was trying to emotionally connect myself to someone who didn’t have the mental ability to do that. I played myself into making someone commit who was not obligated to do so. I believe my aha moment came in December 2014 when he was trying to make things right after he messed up for the 20th time. During that conversation, he began to express how much he cares for me and how he doesn’t want to lose me. Blah Blah Blah. Although everything he said were things I’ve heard before. For some reason, a light bulb came on. In that moment, I heard my inner voice or perhaps God say, “Don’t you want a man who gives you every reason or excuse why HE SHOULD be with you versus reasons why he shouldn’t”? Well yes, I most certainly do. And although I appreciated Mr. Wrong for keeping it real and looking out for my well being by not attaching himself to me, I had to also keep it real with myself and realize that I needed to stop looking at the potential of what he and I could be and start looking at the reality of what the situation really was. Did I really want to waste my “good years” being with a man who could not keep his word, was always “making moves”, still “kinda” involved with other women, always having a reason on why he didn’t show up or call when he said he would. Absolutely NOT!

So it was December 2014, right before the new year when I gave that 2 year relationship over to God. That night, I remember closing my eyes peacefully and hearing God say, “Let that go my dear… I got something better in store for the new year”!

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